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precognithymns

by Tag Along Friend

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1.
angel, numbers, 222’s and 666’s, blood and water, carve the devil out of my nerves. and i’m sure he didn’t, intend for me to survive. but i did, and i’m not always sure why. lost my temper, i just want for you to love me. nothing matters, i don’t care if this kiss kills me. holed away, this is surely not living, but i’ll make due, suicides never enough. breaking all of the tools in my toolbox, running out of options. i can’t help but feel abandoned sometimes.
2.
martyrdom, let this body be a, sacrifice, symbolic of how it feels to die, encased in a thousand flames. burning. im so tired of this world, im gonna fall asleep, im gonna kill myself, and hopefully a few, pigs in the process. dystopian futures now, they watch our every moves, surveillance police state, is keeping my friends numb, hungry, and imprisoned. look up to the sky, while you still can see it, without advertisements, in your eyes, it is, beautiful.
3.
IIOGTGW 03:58
17 years of being sick now it seems that, all i’ll get is sicker. breed me out with ablebodies, i’m unworthy of, life ‘cause i’m not working. all i want is to live without pain. all i want is to be human one day. civilizations manifestations, disease my body, and i’ll never get well. we’re being lied to for profit incentives, take all agency, and remove all choices. it is only going to get worse it is going to get far more painful.
4.
silica 03:14
twirling abstractions, obfuscation of reality. medicinal distractions, keep me awake and placate this grief where did all of my friends go? where did the time go? becoming objects, to leer and spit at, on the peripheral state of non-being. will you call me when you’re done? i’ve got a question, no one can answer. pressurizing distaste for what i know is inevitable. all the energy wasted on silica screens and automated relief. sustained neoliberal greenwashing, makes us feel good inside, keeps the industries going.
5.
orb weaver 02:13
6.
heavy as gravity, last night i went to sleep, not wanting to hurt myself for, the first time, in a long time i hope he, takes rejection. doesn’t want, to get revenge, kill the slut he sees in me, owners right, to destroy their property. i found a, good friend in you, made me feel less abused, but trauma seems to follow me, so engrained, pattern-seeking. try to make, the trigger softer, sights and smells, sound of laughter, freezing out, cmming colder, pay me now, confess me later. i can’t bridge, the memories, don’t make sense, why’s my body, always sore? tracing bruises, like they’re all constellations. one more time, make me smile, for just a, little while, i’ll forget everything that, ever hurt to feel or see.

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“This is not a hyperbole, not a claim to perpetual victimhood nor a ploy for sympathy, but rather, an enraging truth.” -Eli Clare

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released November 1, 2022

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Tag Along Friend Boise, Idaho

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